how did that happen?

Despite what the date on this post says, here it's September 22, and today I'm turning 44. I'm not quite sure how that happened, because I still feel about 17, and I can clearly remember sitting on the synthetic carpet in the senior part of my high school library, reading Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy out loud with my best friend Lesley, and the two of us practically rolling about laughing ourselves silly. There was a lot of laughing ourselves silly that year, before we had to get serious about the HSC, and uni, and husbands, mortgages, babies ...

But I'm not sure that I've really grown up even now. Since then, I've lived in three different cities and towns (in 13 different houses), married twice and divorced once, borne two babies who at 6 & 8 are growing up to be pretty fabulous human beings, earned a degree, a post-grad certificate & completed a few short courses on varying subjects. I've had seven jobs, been self-employed twice (and still am), bought two houses (one of which was accidentally burnt down by tenants), travelled in six Australian States and to New Zealand, and started many, many projects, some of which I've finished and some of which have fallen by the wayside.

So who am I on this first day of my 45th year? 44 things about me, right now, in no particular order of importance:

1. My name is Karen
2. I've been married (this time around) for ten years
3. I have two children - my pigeon pair
4. I weigh too much
5. I have had pink hair (mostly) for over two years
6. I am the primary breadwinner in this household, and sometimes that responsibility scares me
7. I have a small group of fabulous friends, and it took me 40 years to find them
8. I am better at ideas and research than carrying those ideas through
9. I wish my parents & I lived closer than a three-hour drive
10. I live with a hoarder, and it drives me crazy
11. I spend far too much time on the internet
12. I rarely live up to my own ideals
13. I am tired of waiting for other people
14. I am fairly self-sufficient, in terms of not really needing other people a whole lot, and I find this independence makes me strong
15. I am grateful to have fairly independent children, because I need space
16. I am fairly involved in the children's schooling - School Board, P&C, kindergarten reading and so on
17. I like the idea of homeschooling, but it would be a fulltime job if I was to take it on, and I can't do that as well as run a business and a household
18. My husband has a long-standing injury, and sometimes I resent him not doing more, even though I know he is in pain. And then I feel guilty as well
19. I love reading
20. I recently rediscovered crochet (and knitting, but crochet is easier to pick up and put down without losing your place)
21. I like watching 'The Bill' on Saturday nights, and 'The United States of Tara' on Wednesday nights
22. I am in the midst of a slow overhaul of my life
23. I operate more efficiently with deadlines than without
24. I dislike authority and routine
25. My car is off the road for a few days, and i feel a bit trapped, even though I have nowhere specific to go
26. My workspace is a mess, but a thousand times better than it was a few months ago
27. I loathe cooking - mostly - but I do the bulk of it anyway
28. I generally don't leave the house without makeup
29. I would rather spend money on experiences than 'stuff'
30. I don't want pets (although we have fish, and I hope to have chooks soon)
31. My ferritin levels tend to be very low
32. I am a regular blood donor
33. I would rather spend money on books than clothes
34. I want to grow food, but I'm not a particularly good gardener
35. I like to tell my children the old versions of fairy stories, and refuse to read the sanitised Disney versions
36. I'm reading a collection of Roald Dahl's short stories at the moment
37. My parents left for three weeks in China yesterday (they should be in Beijing right now)
38. I have six nephews and two nieces
39. I am a member of the National Gallery of Australia, the National Dinosaur Museum and Questacon, but I haven't been to any of them in months
40. My favourite colour is cobalt blue
41. I dislike other people buying bags for me (but feel obliged to use them)
42. I am itching for something to change
43. I feel like I'm on the brink of something
44. I've just started planning a trip to Europe for my 8yo daughter and myself

So there you go - a snapshot of me as I turn 44. Wonder where this year will lead ...